Another Day

Another Day.

Silence.

A break in darkness:

Another day.

The buzz grows

Quietly.

Mouths begin to

Move but to

Mention blank tea

Means nothing.

Silence.

Each hollow step

A ghost not there.

Every glance

A look right through me.

Wind blowing between

People,

Buildings.

Silence.

Not a word said,

Not a hand shaken,

Only thoughts

Passively held back,

Tears and the like.

Limbs of a tree

Still, an empty

Hollowed trunk.

Begging For Change

Change, can you please? Change? Time?

Time to change. I need time to change,

Change does not happen immediately.

Dark and cold, outside for a walk. I

Need some change. Cannot stay. I

Need to pretend. Not the same.

Brown contacts. I see right through them.

Changed my eye color. Black was

So dull. Black was old.

But I still am. I still have my black

Eye color - no change.  None

From before.

I am a person

Pretending.

Don’t Let Me Love

 

Don't let me catch you

Red handed,

You know I'd flip.

Don't let me get

Close to you,

You know we'd kiss.

Don't let me go to

Bed with you,

You know I'd love.

Here we go again,

Dancing beneath the

Mercurial lights,

On the floor.

The sweet

Raspberries we make-

I'm sorry.

We lay there,

Struggling,

You on me, me on you.

Night between nights

I lay on your bed,

You face me, I don't,

And we sleep.

Night between nights

You came to me,

Laid with me,

And we slept.

You came into my heart,

And now it beats,

Erratically.

And now let me

Come into you,

Entering your heart,

Over and again.

Tell me if you've

Loved me

One of those nights.

Tell me that you still do.

Tell me you know

That I love you.

I thought you

Couldn't love me,

Regardless I

Kept holding on.

I should've

Let you go.

You should've

Never let me near.

You should've

Never let me

Sleep with you.

But we did.

Sunshine

Last night we ran
Through the city
Hand in hand
Hair whipping
Against the wind.

We yelled
We laughed
We swung on 
Lampposts and
Cried.

We were happy
Under the stars
Simply jumping
Into each others 
Arms.

But I woke up,
Dear..


You Are My Sunshine

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamt I held you in my arms
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head, and I cried

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me to love another,
You'll regret it all one day

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

Please don't take my sunshine away

Stolen

Looking into your eyes, I'd swear

You have something new to tell me.

C'mon, start talking - don't be afraid;

Perhaps it may be too late tomorrow.

And what's he like?

Where did he fall in love with you?

Where is he from?

What does he do with his free time?

Ask him, for he has stolen the treasure of my life.

He is a thief who has taken everything from me.

Go get ready, you'll be late,

And take the umbrella in case it rains.

He'll be waiting, to love you,

While I am jealous, to lose you.

And dress warmly, that gray jacket really suits you well.

And smile, so he doesn't think that you've been crying.

And leave me, let me go get my things ready.

And forgive me, if I ask you another question...

And what's he like?

Where did he fall in love with you?

Where is he from?

What does he do in his free time?

Ask him, for he has stolen the treasure of my life.

He is a thief, who has taken everything from me.

There He Was.

Buttoned up, slacks, fancy bow laces.

Moonlit waves crashing closer,

Closer to a  man hidden within his

Own suit. Slowly digging toe by toe

Into the goddamn sand.

No one around to see his demeanor

Change: rage pity depression hope. An

Infinite beach on each side of his

Unseen slouch.

Thousands of leftovers from others-

Motivations unknown, just directions

he can choose to follow.  His bare foot

replacing the leftover prints.

Each grain of sand rubs against fair

Little french fries for toes. All the shells

To his ear the same. Only the waves

Crashing bring him forward.

The cold death of the water

Surges through his warm

Blood- shivering,

Breathing

Slightly.

None.

l(a - e.e. cummings

l  (  a           

l  e

a  f

f  a

l  l

s  )

one

l

i   n   e   s   s

Runaway Wind

The Runaway Wind came by today:
Come on, let’s run away!

He pulled my coat, tugged my hair,

Promised to take me everywhere.

I wanted to go until I asked when

We’d be back home again,

He whoop-eed with whirly, wicked glee:

Never again, if you come with me!

Well then, I guess I’ll stay,

And let him go on his runaway way,

All by himself, today.

Eddie Sedgwick - Patti Smith

Edie Sedgwick

1943-1971

oh it isn't fair

oh it isn't fair

how her ermine hair

turned men around

she was white on white

so blonde on blonde

and her long long legs

how i used to beg

to dance with her

but i never had

a chance with her

oh it isn't fair

how her ermine hair

used to swing so nice

used to cut the air

how all the men

used to dance with her

i never got a chance with her
though i really asked her 
down deep
where you do
really dream
in the mind
reading love
i'd get
inside
her move
and we'd
turn around
and turn the head
of everyone in town
her shaking shaking 
glittering bones
second blonde child
after brian jones
oh it isn't fair
how i dreamed of her
and she slept
and she slept
and she slept
forever
and i'll never dance 
with her no never
she broke down
like a baby
she suffocated 
like a baby
like a baby girl
like a lady
with ermine hair
oh it isn't fair
and i'd like to see
her rise again
her white white bones
with baby brian jones
baby brian jones
like blushing
baby dolls

[Leave Me] - (A Draft, and a working title)

Holding my hand, the memories come flashing

Back of when we used to smile and feel

Safe.  You’re kissing me,

Same way we used to say

I love you.

Telling me I’m the one you want in life,

My mind breaks into pieces from

Frustration.  But I feel the

Same way and I don’t

Want to leave.

Holding you close, feeling the warmth, but

I don’t want to play myself as I know

You’re with someone else;

I don’t need any more

Complications.

The stage is falling the curtain is half open,

I don’t want to fall back in, and be

Immersed with you again.

I’m so conflicted, I was

Fine before.

You know I need help, but you don’t

Do anything, nothing at all, just sit

There silent with empty eyes.

You know I need you, I’m

Lost otherwise.

I’m vulnerable, I’m strong I need nothing

And no one, I want you and I want friends,

But I don’t want help, no.

You’re leaving me, just

Stop it, Stop it.

The Ball

Just bounce, okay?

Bounce.

I see you.

Bounce.

Do you see me?

Bounce.

Do you know that I see you?

Bounce.

I know that you see me.

Bounce.

Hi.

Bounce.

Hey.

Bounce.

Bounce.

Pop.

Collected Essays - George Orwell

"[A wasp] was sucking jam on my plate and I cut him in half. He paid no attention, merely went on with his meal, while a tiny stream of jam trickled out of his severed esophagus.  Only when he tried to fly away did he grasp the dreadful thing that had happened to him.”

A Change of Heart (Draft I)

For the hugs and kisses,

The fun and tears,

Oh how I’ll miss it,

Throughout the years.

For the constant thought of ‘The One’

No longer rides with doubt,

She is found, oh praise the king –

Let us all give a shout.

For faster and faster

My welded heart still beats,

Each day stronger and stronger –

Go quick feet, go quick feet.

All I fear means nothing,

Every second less I spend without you,

My sanctuary, fortunes bring,

When I’m with you,

With you,

With you.

In Case I Still Love You

I say goodbye,

Though I still love you.

Maybe I shouldn't forget

About you,

But I say goodbye.

I don't know

If you loved me,

I don't know

If I loved you,

Or maybe we

Loved each other

Too much.

This sad and

Passionate and

Crazy affection

I planted in my soul

To love you.

I don't know

If I loved you much,

I don't know

If I loved you little,

But I do know

That I will never

Love like that again.

Your smile

Stays dormant

On my mind,

And my heart tells me

Not to forget you.

But being

Alone knowing

I lose you,

Maybe I begin

To love you

Like never before.

I say goodbye,

Though with this farewell

My most beautiful dream

Dies inside of me.

But I say goodbye,

For the rest

Of my life,

Even though

For the rest

Of my life

I continue

To think of you.

Just Let It Fall

The steel curtains

you stand before

shelter you from

Fortune's Wind

blowing, and

Joy's Sunshine

shining.

You're dying from

standing still,

as I do my best to

hold you up.

The canalized rivets

of salty sadness,

contagious.

Your failed attempt at

obscuring the obvious -

your walls are see-through;

The pond is shallow.

Yet....

I can't let you fall